Moustaches

The other day my friends and I got into an impassioned argument (on Facebook, admittedly) regarding the moustache of Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman Ian White, and its legitimacy and effectiveness as an aid to the team. Some thought it was silly, and had no place on his face or in the locker room. Others thought it could kick certain nay-saying parties’ asses. And still others spelled it ‘mustache’. This was my reply:

Speaking objectively (for we all know I don't actually watch sports), Ian white's moustache (and I always spell it moustache) is reminiscent of a bygone era where the moustaches wore the men, and you could only be called a man if you had such a moustache. His moustache is the moustache of a turn-of-the-century man, or a rugged mid-western porn or action star in the 70s or 80s. His moustache is a classic one, one that is synonymous with cowboy boots and grainy film and middle-aged whores. Ian white has more balls in his moustache than he does in his balls, and you can't mess with a man that ballsy.

DFTBA